Please Read
A Gentle Note Before You Begin
Reading about childhood can stir things up. You may recognise yourself, your parents, or your own parenting in these pages, and that can bring up grief, anger, guilt or relief, sometimes all at once.
If that happens, please be kind to yourself. Close the page when you need to. Noticing a pattern is not the same as being responsible for every cause of it, and understanding your past does not mean you have to judge the people in it. Most parents were doing what they knew, often with far less support than they needed.
This book is not a substitute for professional help
The information here is for education and self-reflection. It is not a diagnosis, and it cannot replace the support of a qualified counsellor, psychotherapist or doctor. If you are living with significant distress, trauma, or difficulties that affect your daily life, you deserve individual support. A local doctor or health service can be a good place to start.
If you or a child are in danger, or you feel unable to keep yourself safe, contact emergency services in your locality straight away.
Some of the practices in this book involve speaking openly or setting boundaries. Where doing so could lead to intimidation, harm or violence, your safety comes first.
With that in mind, take what helps, leave what does not, and go at your own pace.
— Fatima Abdulkareem